The No. 1 Way to Break the Holiday Cycle of Stress and Embrace Balance, Joy, and Intentionality

The holidays are here, and while they’re meant to be a time for joy and connection, many of us find ourselves trapped in a cycle of stress and overwhelm. We get caught up in trying to make everything perfect—losing weight, looking our best, avoiding treats, and ticking off a never-ending to-do list. But this pursuit of perfection leaves us feeling drained, anxious, and missing out on what the season is really about: rest, connection, and meaningful moments with those we love.

The good news? You don’t have to keep repeating the same holiday stress year after year. To break this cycle and create a healthier, more balanced holiday season, the first step is to shift your mindset. It’s not about controlling everything or striving for perfection—it’s about choosing balance and being intentional with your time, energy, and choices.

The Most Powerful Advice: Start by Setting Boundaries

The foundation for a more enjoyable holiday experience begins with setting boundaries that protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This is the number one way you can start breaking the holiday cycle of stress and embrace balance and joy this year! Boundaries are not about restriction—they are about protecting your peace, your health, and your energy, allowing you to show up for yourself and your loved ones without feeling burnt out.

Here are some simple action steps you can take to begin shifting the holiday cycle:

Key Steps to Start Changing the Cycle:

1. Set Clear Boundaries:

• With food: Enjoy treats without guilt! But also prioritize nourishing foods that make you feel good. Set clear intentions for indulgence so it feels like a conscious choice, not a reaction. And utilize the highly effective Pause Method to help you follow through on your choices.
• With people: Define your emotional and physical limits for family, work, and social events. Decide which gatherings are worth your time and energy, and say "no" to what drains you.
• With yourself: Make time for quiet moments of rest, prayer, reading, walking, or just doing nothing. Your mental health matters just as much as everything else. From there, create calm around you: even just dimming the lights in the room you are in or stopping unnecessary noises can help calm and reset your nervous system.

2. Manage Expectations:

• Perfection isn’t the goal—intention is. Be realistic about what you can accomplish, and communicate your needs with others. You don’t have to meet everyone’s expectations; you just have to meet your own.

3. Focus on Meaning, Not Material Things:

• Shift your focus from gifts, decorations, and perfection to relationships and moments of connection. Practice daily gratitude for what you have, rather than what you don’t. Someone is praying for what you have - really. 

4. Create Simple, Joyful Rituals:

• Embrace small rituals that bring you joy: enjoying your favorite holiday drink, walking with a loved one, or lighting a candle while reading. These moments of stillness and reflection help you stay grounded and present. And they are so easy to overlook! 

5. Be Compassionate With Yourself:

• Change takes time. If you slip back into old patterns, don’t be hard on yourself. Every small step toward balance is a win. Give yourself grace as you learn to experience the holidays differently.

How to Remember to Follow Through (Even During the Chaos)

Now that you’ve set your boundaries and intentions, the next challenge is following through when the holiday chaos kicks in. It’s easy to forget your commitments or let stress derail your plans. Here are some ways to stay on track:

1. Write It Down and Keep It Visible:
Keep your boundaries and intentions in a visible place—on your fridge, in your planner, or as a reminder on your phone. A visible prompt will help you pause and check in before you get swept up in autopilot mode.

2. Make a "Quick Reference" Card:
Summarize the key points of your plan on a small card you can carry with you. When you feel overwhelmed, pull out the card to reset your focus. It’s a simple way to remind yourself of your priorities when things get hectic.

3. Set Daily Priorities:
Every morning, take 1-2 minutes to set your priorities for the day. Ask yourself:

• What’s one boundary I need to uphold today?
• What’s one way I can create joy or connection today?
• How can I show myself compassion if things don’t go as planned?

4. Have an Accountability Buddy:
Find someone to check in with about your goals and boundaries. Having someone to hold you accountable makes it more likely you’ll stick to your plans.

5. Use Technology to Stay Focused:
Set reminders on your phone to check in with your boundaries. For example, set an alarm in the afternoon that says, “Did I say ‘no’ to anything today? Did I take time for rest?”

6. Create a Holiday Check-In Routine:
Set a time each week (even just 10 minutes) to check in with yourself. Reflect on what’s working, what feels off, and adjust as needed.

7. Practice Mindful Breathing:
When the stress builds, take a few minutes to breathe deeply and ground yourself. Close your eyes, take slow breaths, and remind yourself that you’re in control of your experience.

8. Be Flexible and Kind to Yourself:
Remember, this isn’t about perfection. There will be moments when you slip up or feel overwhelmed. That’s normal. What matters is how you respond. Each time you get back on track, it’s a success. This will greatly reduce regret over how the holidays go for you.

By setting boundaries, managing expectations, and focusing on what truly matters, you’ll start to create a holiday season filled with joy and balance—not stress, guilt, or overwhelm. This is the first and most powerful step to breaking free from the holiday cycle and creating new, healthier traditions that support your overall well-being.

Start with intentionality—choosing how you want to show up this holiday season. When you do, it will set the tone for everything else. You can embrace creating a holiday experience that leaves you feeling nourished, connected, and rejuvenated.

This holiday season, make a shift. No more repeats. Embrace balance, joy, and peace. You have the power to create a meaningful, fulfilling holiday season that truly reflects what matters most to you.